Friday was nasty weather. But my mom and I had plans to go to Oatlands Plantation for a holiday tea and a house tour. Despite the gross rain, it was a wonderful way to start to get in to holiday mode. And for a pregnant woman who has had eating issues, eating mini sandwiches and pastries was delightful. It also got me really excited for doing things like that with Hartley some day. And I can't lie, it might have planted the seed to do a tea party birthday when she's a little bit older.
My mom talked about taking some time off work as soon as Brian has to return to work after his paternity leave so she can come over and help. And how over her spring and summer break we can take the little one for strolls. I can't believe that'll be life in almost no time!
Then we went shopping for nursing bras. Something you can really only do with your mom. My mom didn't know anything about them so I collected some tips from a friend who just had a baby. I actually wore one all day yesterday because putting on my regular bras is like stuffing 10 pounds of shit into a one pound bag!
Saturday we went shopping for my sister's wedding dress. She hasn't seen me in almost two months so I think she was pretty shocked that I now look like a pregnant lady! I was thrilled to see the boutiques had chairs so we could sit down and watch the fashion show. Every dress looked great, making decisions really tough. It made me think about how long ago it was when I tried on wedding dresses. Life has changed so much since then. But I'm thrilled to play the pregnant big sister role, and I didn't realize how emotional it would be to see my little sister try on wedding dresses.
Before I left Ashburn my mom showed me the shower favors she made - these sweet sugar cookies. Bunnies and chicks. Sidenote: the bunny has unofficially become Hartley's animal. The little heart tags on the favors read, "can Hartley wait". Yes, baby girl has a slogan.
That night Brian and I watched the news like it was our job, and I prayed the weather forecast for a winter storm the next day was wrong.
Upon waking Sunday, I learned it wasn't wrong. The snow actually started even earlier than they said it would. At first I laughed a little. Kind of an "are you fucking kidding me?" laugh. Then I realized there was no way we could have a shower. I couldn't ask anyone to drive in this. And selfishly, I didn't want to drive in it myself. God forbid we got in an accident driving to my baby shower, I would never forgive myself if something happened.
Brian said to me, "I'm sorry, bug. You deserve a shower more than anyone." Then I started to cry. I wasn't crying because the shower wasn't happening that day. It more had to do with the fact that nothing with this baby ever seems to go as planned, and I just wanted one day to go off without a hitch. And quite frankly, pregnant lady hormones don't exactly help the situation.
I feel like we were both in phone mode for an hour. Brian on the phone with his sister and his mom. I was on the phone updating my mom, and I was texting everyone the shower wasn't happening that day. People have said how sorry they are this happened, very sweet because lord knows none of us control the weather. And I gave everyone the same response, which is what I truly believe - this stuff happens. It does. It's not the end of the world. Hartley just gained a new nickname, my little snow angel. And this hiccup is just another little thing that reminds us what we've spent years learning - you can't control everything!
Last night, sitting with Brian on the couch cozied under blankets, Christmas tree lit up, listening to Christmas music, playing scrabble, I thought about how perfect life is. Yes, the day didn't go as planned. Hartley and I didn't get to be the princesses of the day, and I didn't get to tear through a bunch of girlie baby gifts. But everything I really needed was in that room, on that couch. A year ago this was merely a dream, something I wished for every time I saw 11:11 on the clock or tossed a penny in a fountain. Something I prayed for when I was alone. And even though it certainly hasn't been a flawless journey, we're just lucky to get to be on it.
The shower will happen - another day. We will see our snow angel in 3 days. And someday we'll look back and laugh at the week of record temperature highs followed by a freak winter storm on a shower date we picked over the summer.
And I'm pleased to announce after two weeks of my super amazing, expensive, magical new vitamins, I'm starting to get more energy. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a little sluggish, but thank you, pregnancy gods. I needed that.
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