I decided to blog about it to the best of my mombie ability.
When Patrick came home from the hospital, Hartley didn't notice him. I'm totally not kidding. She didn't run to him, say "baby" and kiss him. She just basically walked all over the house like usual, and he was just kind of there. It was kind of funny. I would say it was a tad concerning but it wasn't really because it was so easy. Brian usually did "Hartley duty", aka carrying her, changing her, wrangling her and playing with her. I was recovering so I was on "Patrick duty" (hate to break it to new moms but newborns require no physical exertion compared to a toddler). This was actually pretty easy.
The weekend Patrick turned two weeks, we finally really started to be a four person unit. We went to the playground as a family of four (now our weekend ritual). Brian chased Hartley. I sat on my inflatable donut on the park bench with Patrick. It felt natural and easy, honestly.
Brian returned back to work, and I braced myself for my new existence.
The first week he went back, my mom came over every day for 3-4 hours a day to help me. I was still in recovery mode so when we went out places she did all things Hartley, and I did all things Patrick.
This has evolved a little bit. Now my parents help about 2-3 hours a day (sometimes longer if there's a field trip involved), about 3-4 days a week. It is a tremendous help to me. Hartley absolutely loves it; when they come in the morning she completely lights up. My parents enjoy it, and she can now say "Nana" and "Poppy". If it weren't for this help, our lives would not be what they are. We would not be as well adjusted and happy - I'm sure of that. They are the best.
Generally our schedule goes like this:
7-7:30 am: wake up time (Brian wakes earlier to shower). Brian gets Hartley, changes her diaper, puts her in her high chair with milk and breakfast. Depending on Patrick's schedule, I eat my breakfast before or after he gets his bottle but we both eat around now also. Brian takes Winnie out.
Around 8: Brian leaves for work. Hartley watches Sesame Street while I finish and clean up breakfast.
Between 8:30-10: a variety of things happen. I get them dressed. I read/play with Hartley if Patrick is content. I might turn on tv or music if I need to focus on Patrick (change, feed or soothe him). I've been making an effort to make sure Patrick does tummy time and uses the play mat. A few times we squeeze in a walk or grocery trip in the morning.
10ish: usually either my parents come over, they/we take them out or we schedule a play date. If my parents take Hartley out, this is when I do laundry, shower, get random things done like birth announcements, thank you notes, take Winnie out, etc. Sometimes I just relax and hold Patrick; he usually eats while they're gone, too.
Around 12:30pm: Hartley eats lunch. I eat lunch. She sometimes gets to watch tv while I clean up lunch.
Around 1: Hartley naps. Patrick joins me in my room. He might sleep, we might snuggle, he might feed, but we relax and decompress.
Around 3: we're ready to go again. So here it all depends on weather. If its rainy or too hot, I do afternoon baths for Hartley while Patrick is in his rock n play. We make it more of a playtime than just a quick bath time. We'll play upstairs in Hartley's room. If the weather is nice, we'll go outside. We'll do indoor playtime - more books, toys, tummy time, exercise mat.
Lately I try to start on dinner before Brian gets home, this means Hartley gets either Pandora or tv and Patrick chills in the rock n play. Sometimes I'd rather play with them (like last night), and I make dinner when he gets home instead.
Brian usually gets home around 6ish. We eat dinner. We clean up dinner.
We hang out as a family, maybe do a family walk. If it was a rough day or Brian gets home later, I usually go upstairs to get a break to shower if I couldn't earlier.
At 7:30ish, Brian starts Hartley's bedtime. I take Patrick.
8 pm: Hartley is down for bed. Patrick is up with us. We take care of whatever we need to take care of around the house (taking out trash, recycling, washing bottles, moving or folding laundry, putting away toys, etc.)
We usually are relaxing around 8:30 pm. Sometimes Brian does work.
Patrick has been taking his last feed around 9:30 pm.
Sometimes we get 30 minutes alone together but more often one of us will crash right after Patrick does.
Brian does Patrick's night feed. God bless him.
We start all over again the next day :)
It is tiring. There can be a couple hours at a time where I'm bouncing back and forth between my two children and it feels like everyone needs something simultaneously (this includes Winnie who often wants something just as I'm sitting down to feed Patrick or I'm changing a poopy diaper). Sometimes I feel like I'm crappy at it but mainly I feel pretty good about knowing I'm doing everything I can.
I can't complain. My babies are pretty easy, adorable and so worth it. My husband and my parents are rock stars. They are so helpful and supportive. I've never had a single day where I felt alone or without support.
I think I'm adjusting beautifully to being a mom of two but I'm sure there are moms out there who get it done with zero tv and zero hot dog lunches. I tip my cap to them but that's certainly not my personal goal. My goal is to see as many smiles and hear as many laughs as I can in a day without getting overly exhausted. I don't mind shortcuts as long as everyone is healthy and happy. I try to keep the house from getting too disasterous looking but it definitely happens and I roll with it, goldfish crumbs and all.
Our routine isn't without hiccups. Yes, there is "jealously" as Hartley adjusts to sharing attention. This happens when it's me alone with the two of them, and Hartley wants mom to herself. We get through it, and I try really hard to make sure Hartley feels as loved as ever. It's a balance - she needs to feel secure and loved while learning how to share the spotlight. I think it's actually going to serve her really well in life. It does bother me when people gravitate to the new baby and forget about her so I try really hard to compensate when it happens.
I feel like everyday all of the feels more normal. All of a sudden, life with one sounds like a breeze, which is pretty funny.
That's the long answer to the question though!
Updates on these cuties to follow... Someday!
