29.

So today I turned 29. All of a sudden I think my age sounds old. 29 no longer sounds like "that era in your 20s right after you graduate when you're figuring things out". It sounds like "you're almost 30, time to be a grown up". 

And actually, 28 was a lot of growing up. I think becoming a parent makes you grow up. That's not to say people without kids aren't grown ups, it's more that Hartley made me grow up a little more. 

And here I am at 29 and my life feels full to the brim. It truly is perfect. Well, my version of perfect anyway. 

I had a couple moments where I teared up today. Sappy and cliche, I know. 

But I had an epiphany. This is what life is about. This year I welcomed my daughter and learned what it means to be a mom. I have been so blessed and lucky to have made some fun new friends and remain blessed to have the old ones. Our families are happy, healthy and expanding due to 3 weddings within the next year or so. Brian and I continue to have so much fun together. He just keeps doing wonderfully at work. Life is good. We are so lucky. 

I'm getting older, and I joke about feeling the need to lie about my age. But there is no place I'd rather be in life. Well, maybe if you let me be 21 for one night I wouldn't complain. But in all seriousness, I think when people use that expression "these are the days", they are talking about where I am right now. These really are the days.

And on special days like today, I wonder what I did so right to be here. 

I am so thankful for all the people who made a point of saying happy birthday to me. It moves me to tears to know I have that many people in my life who think about me. I hope they all know that they mean a lot to me too.

Sorry, this entry was insanely mushy. Maybe 29 year olds are just mushy.

To be less mushy I'll say a few shallow things. I love all my awesome birthday gifts. I love that I ate like calories don't count today. And I love that I was that woman this year - I bought myself a couple presents, and I don't feel bad about it! 

Cheers to being another year older, and hopefully, wiser!

Thanks for reading :)

Five months.

Dear Hartley,

It's so strange - 5 months somehow feels like forever and the blink of an eye. 

How are you such a big girl already? 5 months ago you were a peanut who was swimming in a newborn size snow suit, and now you are in 12 month clothes! When we're out places people usually guess that you are older than you are. Your size and chatty nature usually fool people. 

You somehow get prettier with each passing day. Many people have told your mama she should put you to work - that you are gorgeous enough to be a baby model, even the Gerber baby. You eyes remain a steely blue. And everyone is always trying to figure out who you look like and what color to call your hair. I think it's a dirty blonde but if it catches light a certain way it looks reddish. 

This month you seem to have grown and developed even more than previous months. You sport two teeth. You can roll both ways - tummy to back and back to tummy. You laugh. You love to smile. You talk a ton. You can sit up on your own if you use your arms in front of you to prop yourself up. 

You are now very interested in written words. You have a wall hanging with words in your nursery that mesmerizes you, and you love books. 

You love being sung to and rocked. You love being held above our heads and looking down at us. 

You also have been on a blowing raspberries kick. You are very interested in your feet.

This month you're into Freddie the firefly, a Lamaze toy. You also are now into soft rattles and stuffed animals. I've caught you talking to your stuffed animals. It is, without a doubt, the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life. 

You continue to love walks. You have just started regularly having play dates with Lily, the baby in the neighborhood who was born the same day as you. You love going to the mall, and I love taking you there. 

Dad is smitten with you. It is so sweet to watch you two together. 

Nana and grandpa still baby sit a lot. You went through a couple weeks where you forgot who they were a little but that's over. When nana came over the past couple days, you lit up. 

Unfortunately, you seem to have your first cold right now. But your mood is as chipper as ever. 

Napping isn't what it used to be but you remain a nighttime sleep champion. Last night you went a little past 12 hours. 

I'm still so in love with you, and I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that you'll always be my little sweetheart. This month I feel particularly mushy, and I think it's just because each day our bond grows stronger than the last. My little miracle, I love you so. Happy 5 months, lovey! 

Four months (1 month late)

This was written on June 9, 2014 (you were 4 months 1 day). I had to catch up before posting 5 months! 

Dear Hartley,

Happy four month birthday! You are growing like a weed. You are 16.6 pounds, 25.5 inches - 90th percentile in both categories.

You are changing and developing so quickly. You just rolled over for the first time a few days ago. You rolled from your tummy to your back. And you did it when both mom and dad were around to see! We are so proud of you.

You also just had the top of your first tooth pop through your gum. It was pretty painful for you, so that wasn't fun, but it's exciting to watch you grow! 

This month you're very aware of who you know and who you don't know as well. You mainly hang out with mom, dad, nana and grandpa so you recognize all of our faces. 

You're smiling all the time and even starting to laugh.

And oh my goodness you are talking up a storm! You are always babbling. You are an extremely communicative baby. You also love to stick your tongue out. You love to blow bubbles and you drool a ton. 

You love baths and strolls. Mom and dad take you on tons of trail walks around the lake. You are always getting to see new animals on our adventures. You also go for lots of walks with a baby born on the exact same day as you! Her mom and your mom love to compare notes on what you girls are up to! 

Nana and grandpa are always over helping out: baby sitting you and taking you for long walks. The stroller logs at least a dozen miles every week! 

You are getting good at tummy time. You can push up, and you are desperately trying to crawl. You are a little mobile now but mainly you scoot around on your back. 

Everything you can get your hands on ends up in your mouth. Fingers. Mom's hair. Sophie the giraffe.

You continue to be a very alert and aware baby. You take everything in. You really notice Winnie. You pulled out some of her hair the other day but she didn't seem to mind because she loves you so much. 

The kick n play piano continues to be a favorite in this house. You are getting a little big for your baby swing so we don't use it as much. Dad bought you this crazy colorful, silly bouncer, and you're starting to get into it. You've got a ton of fun toys! 

Your dad and I talk every night before we go to bed about how adorable you are, how lucky we are and how much we love you. 

This is our favorite age so far. We love the little person you are becoming.

We love you, Hartley Glenn! 

Yessss victory!

So it took me 8 weeks but I'm officially down ten pounds! Yes! Double digit weight loss!

I am so proud of myself. 

I stalled out the past couple weeks. Life was happening, and the diet wasn't a priority. I'm 100% not ashamed of that. I'm truly in this for the long haul. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

I have 20 pounds more to lose to get to my goal weight. 

Here are my goals:

Lose the next ten pounds by our 5th wedding anniversary: September 5, 2014.

Lose those last ten pounds by December 31, 2014. 

I'm so impressed with myself. I'm 33% of the way to my goal. 

And last weekend I actually had a chance to get ready for the day when I went to my sister in law's bridal shower. I looked in the mirror and thought, "wow, I look beautiful." You're cringing, thinking I'm super vain. But I've worked hard, and I love myself for it. I don't always get a chance to get ready for the day but when I do, I really do look good. 

My downfall is still emotional eating so I'm working on that. But it has definitely improved. Before Hartley, I'd eat mindlessly, and the best part about dieting with a baby is that you actually can't eat mindlessly. There's never the time or the free hands! My main pitfall now is "tired eating". Yep, actually eating to try to gain more energy because I'm wiped. I'm not trying to eliminate this habit completely. It's kind of a natural thing. But I'm trying to get as much sleep as I can at night and drink water so I at least do what I can to curb the habit. 

My strength is preparation. Man does preparation make a difference when you have a little one! Thinking ahead helps me greatly. So does my slow cooker. 

I had to get on my blog to write this because I'm so proud of myself. And maybe you're thinking, "hah, 10 pounds? I could lose that in a few weeks!" I could too but I couldn't maintain it. Maintenance is the biggest part of this. I'm not trying to be a size 2. I'm not trying to be all muscle, no fat. I'm trying to be a healthier mom and wife, for life. I'm not rushing it, and I'm not killing myself to get there. I also know another baby is a possibility so I'm not trying to do anything unhealthy to my body.

I'm giving myself plenty of time to lose the next ten pounds. But I can't lie, I can't wait to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary 20 pounds lighter than I was when we started! Wish me luck as I chug along!