The Cranes' Nest Lately

So lately I've put up two blogs: one of my winter blah phase and Hartley's birth story, which I'm sure will be at least a few months of birth control for my childless friends. So today, in all the craziness that was my day, I thought, "I really need to blog the real goings-on of the Cranes' nest lately". I promise you, they are way less boring then they are about to sound. 

So, as always, in no particular order, our life:

Hartley is walking. Well, she's doing that cute dinosaur walk for up to a minute at a time. She's not a shoe-wearing, burning up the mall kind of walker yet. She took her first steps a few days before Christmas. I was the first to witness, and my dad was around helping me so he actually got to witness it second. For a week we'd catch her take a couple steps at a time. She was very cautious and definitely knew her boundaries. A few steps then a gentle drop to the ground to crawl to her destination. Then the first few days in January I hardly saw her try to walk, and I figured it would just come later. Then out of the blue, she walked across the living room. If you heard my cheering, you would've thought I won the lottery. God those proud mama moments are awesome. Everyday she seems more confident and balanced than the last. I actually am noticing that she's walking more than crawling. 

Totally unrelated. When I was pregnant I dreamt of the things I'd do with my baby. Do you know what number one was? Art time. I have had high hopes of having a crafty child... for forever. So last week I ordered H some egg-shaped crayons that are supposed to be good for toddler hands. The day they arrived, I tore into the package immediately for our first art lesson. Hartley totally doesn't get them yet. She tried to eat them and then threw them. Sidebar: that kid has an arm. The crayons claim to be toddler tough and day one she cracked one in half. But everyday I'm going to show her them and someday it will click. Today I scribbled and she traced the lines with her finger so that's something, right?

Kind of related: Hartley is starting to point. I actually think she's mainly getting this from Brian who models it a lot when he reads to her. I'm making an effort to do it consistently, too. 

The not as awesome news is naps are dead. Hartley has never been a great napper. I've brought it up to her doctors at a couple different visits They both told me, "you know, not napping is often a sign of good things. Gifted children tend to have difficulty napping". I told them they must tell that to all the moms of the no nap kids. But they told me it'd true; sometimes their smart little brains can't turn off. I researched this, and it's actually a real thing. I guess when their old enough to communicate, they express to their parents that their minds won't stop churning. *disclaimer: I'm not saying good nappers won't be smart. It's entirely separate from a correlation between the inability to nap indicating intelligence* I try to remind myself this when Hartley straight up refuses naps. Today she was up for 12 hours with a 20 minute stroller nap as her only break. It didn't phase her one bit. It phases me. I mean, 12 hours? Yeah, you spend 12 hours with a toddler and tell me how rested you feel. But it doesn't slow her down; that girl is pretty amazing. 

Also, the warning I should issue to all moms. You know those oh so adorable PB Kids Anywhere Chairs? I've always loved them, well before I had Hartley. I mean itty bitty grown-up-looking chairs? It doesn't get cuter. BUT they are very light. The second we got home with ours I saw it becoming a dangerous jungle gym that required supervision. Today I was running to get my phone off the charger in the dining room, and for a split second I thought I should move her chair. It was in the center of room with nothing to keep it staying upright. I told myself "page, don't be that mom". 10 seconds later I heard heinous screaming and see that Hartley had climbed up it, flipped it and landed on her face. Upon picking her up, I saw blood streaming out the sides of her mouth. No exaggeration, she was crying so hard that she was choking on the blood. Everything ended fine. The crying and blood stopped after a few dramatic minutes. Thank you Sesame Street on YouTube for coming to the rescue! But a word of advice, if you own one of these cute but dangerous chairs - never allow them on it solo. I'm moving it out of our living room for the time being since its our "safe space". 

Hartley's favorite things are playing hide n seek (especially using the curtain), eating puffs, watching Sesame Street, reading (especially Olivia), and climbing. She is all about shrieking with excitement. She now does this funny thing when she does a happy squeal and then Lays down and hides her face. It's bizarre and hilarious. She's almost always happy - unless you take remotes or iPhones away from her and then she hates you. 

And that's all I can think of for now. It's her world, and I'm just living in it ;) 

Hartley's Birth Story

Now that Hartley's first birthday is coming up, I guess I should probably write her birth story!

That's pretty awful that I never wrote it. If I'm being brutally honest, I'm very glad I didn't write it too shortly after her birth. This may make me a terrible mother but my labor with Hartley isn't something I look back on very fondly. Of course, as the saying goes, "All is well that ends well". So at least there's that. 

I was initially scheduled to check in to the hospital at around 8 pm on Thursday evening. The hospital was insanely busy so they delayed me. I took a bath during the delay and ended up checking in at 10pm. The nurse I had at check in was my least favorite because she forgot to do my medical history questions until after I took my ambien. Luckily, I had given Brian index cards of my medical history so I didn't have to use my foggy brain. They gave me Cervidil to soften my cervix, and I fell asleep shortly after midnight. I had contractions while I slept. So if you start the clock there, I was in labor for about 24 hours by the time it was all done.

At 6:45 am on Friday, they woke me. I showered. And at about 7:30, they broke my water and hooked me up to a pitocin drip to induce stronger contractions. I started labor without the epidural. It felt like bad period cramps. I walked around the room. I felt more comfortable standing but bent over the bed. I breathed through them as long as I could. Then a little after 11am, I was ready for "the juice". The epidural kicked in right away, and that's right around when my mom joined the party. She brought a bunch of goodies: valentines string lights, valentine cupcakes, flowers, and a valentine stuffed puppy. I was happy as a clam, feeling almost nothing. We watched tv and chatted.

Later in the afternoon, my dad joined the party. He got a kick out of watching my contractions on the monitor I was hooked up to. He would give me updates but I told him I could feel them. In fact, I noticed I was starting to feel them pretty strongly. I actually decided I'd start clicking my little button to use more pain medication. I didn't think it was making much of a difference but I figured I had to suck it up. My parents left to get dinner, and by the time they came back, I was in pain, really feeling my labor. I think this is around when my dad left to take out the dogs. And I just remember that was when things got very, very bad.

I told the nurse I needed to throw up. They got me a bucket and injected me with Zofran. It held off throwing up but my pain was getting unbearable. At this point, my pitocin was literally at the highest level allowed - 20. They were making me rotate positions every 15 minutes to try to move Hartley but she wasn't descending. 

I'll never forget, I was laying on my left side gripping onto my mom for dear life. I cried. I told her I thought I wasn't going to make it; the pain was too much. She did such a beautiful job of staying calm and trying to soothe me. She told me to be strong, that one day I would be helping my daughter through her labor. But I did see tears well up in her eyes for a split second, and my mom is not a crier. I knew she and Brian could tell I wasn't doing well. I told Brian to get a doctor, so he ran out of the room and did. 

Soon after, we learned my epidural had fallen out. Yes, I labored on the highest dosage of pitocin without an epidural until I was just over 9 centimeters dialated.

They quickly had me sit up in bed, and the anesthesiologist redid my epidural. I remember I was shaking uncontrollably. They told me I was shaking because my body was going into shock but that soon the epidural would help me, and 15 minutes later I felt better. It felt like labor but not like torture.

I remember telling everyone I couldn't hold off pushing any longer. And I remember my dad saying if I had to push a little to go ahead and do it. 

Finally the doctor came in and it was time to push. I pushed like a motherfucking beast. Yeah, no other way to describe it. For an hour and a half, I pushed like a motherfucking beast. No screaming just breathing and pushing because I was determined to end this shit. Brian and my mom both saw me crowning and told me I was close. And that last push was the greatest feeling of relief in my entire life. After 24 hours of labor, Hartley Glenn Crane entered the world at 2:03 am on Saturday, February 8th, 2014. 

I must say pushing was a thousand times easier than the rest of the labor. It feels like what they describe - intense pressure.

Brian cut the cord. They plopped H on my chest for probably 15 seconds, then the rushed to clean her off. 

Brian followed Hartley. I called across the room to ask what she looked like. How big? Did she have hair? What color? I'll never forget when he said she was blonde. I remember being so shocked, and proud that she had something from me! 

My mom stayed with me and held my hand as I delivered the placenta. She stayed with me while they stitched me up. 

My dad came in and everyone told turns holding Hartley. It was such a beautiful sight. Everyone cried happy tears. And such was the birthday of my little 7 lb, 1 oz peanut. 

Almost a year later, I can almost look back with a bit of nostalgia. It was probably the hardest, most terrifying day of my life but also, without a doubt, my proudest day. 

11 months.

Dear Hartley,

Another blur of a month has passed. You're always moving so when I look back at what we did with our day each day, it's just a blur of motion! 

Speaking of motion, you took your first step a couple weeks ago! You have worked your way up to taking a few steps at a time; your record is 5 steps in a row. You are an expert cruiser and an extremely fast crawler. Each time the baby gates opens, you make a mad dash to get out, and your dad and I have to be quick so you don't escape! 

You are always babbling but now you've started loud shrieking when you get excited about something. It's hilarious - and adorable. 

You've started climbing things. It's so nerve wracking. You're almost always sporting a bruise because of it! 

You are incredibly independent. Often moms of toddlers say things like, "it gets easier eventually because they can start entertaining themselves." Well you've been able to entertain yourself for a while now, at times it seems you even prefer it. You will crawl off and flip through books on your own, studying each page. You'll crawl around the room collecting lint. No matter how well we vacuum, you always find the tiniest bits if lint, and you'll carry them around with you like they are prized treasures. 

You also loves to get your hands on iPhones and tv remotes. 

Your favorite toys are your little people, the little people school bus, your turtle lawn mower and your elephant. You like to empty the shapes out of your shape shorter and play with the bucket. 

You love to climb up to look out the window. You love to play with curtains; you use them to play peak-a-boo. You love to try to chase Winnie under the couch. You still find her hilarious. You love baths. You love walks. 

You still aren't that interested in taking time out to eat but you love puffs. I think that's the only "food" you really enjoy. Though we've had some luck with bread at restaurants and French fries. Go figure. You're your mom's girl ;)

Dislikes: naps, diaper changes and getting dressed. That's like the evil trifecta for you. Pretty much the only time you cry is while one of those three things is occurring! You're also not a huge fan of car rides anymore. We got you a new car seat, and we're hoping that helps. 

Your skin is so sensitive. This winter we coat you in aquaphor a couple times a day and your skin is still dry and flaky. You still sport your Christmas tree rash. In other health news, you had your first stomach virus. It was brutal. 5 days of pure hell for you (and mom and dad). You came through it like a champ. Even when you were extremely ill, you still had a great disposition. 

You celebrated your first Christmas. Totally didn't care about present opening. Except when you got to be in a room of present opening, you got super excited by all the commotion! 

As always, I know that was no particular order but like I said - just a blur!

One thing I do know though, I love you so much. Our bond grows stronger by the day, and I feel so lucky to call you mine, Hartley Glenn. I swear, I couldn't love you more if I tried. I'm so impressed by the little person you are becoming; I could not be any prouder. 

Happy 11 months, lovey!