Hartley's Birth Story

Now that Hartley's first birthday is coming up, I guess I should probably write her birth story!

That's pretty awful that I never wrote it. If I'm being brutally honest, I'm very glad I didn't write it too shortly after her birth. This may make me a terrible mother but my labor with Hartley isn't something I look back on very fondly. Of course, as the saying goes, "All is well that ends well". So at least there's that. 

I was initially scheduled to check in to the hospital at around 8 pm on Thursday evening. The hospital was insanely busy so they delayed me. I took a bath during the delay and ended up checking in at 10pm. The nurse I had at check in was my least favorite because she forgot to do my medical history questions until after I took my ambien. Luckily, I had given Brian index cards of my medical history so I didn't have to use my foggy brain. They gave me Cervidil to soften my cervix, and I fell asleep shortly after midnight. I had contractions while I slept. So if you start the clock there, I was in labor for about 24 hours by the time it was all done.

At 6:45 am on Friday, they woke me. I showered. And at about 7:30, they broke my water and hooked me up to a pitocin drip to induce stronger contractions. I started labor without the epidural. It felt like bad period cramps. I walked around the room. I felt more comfortable standing but bent over the bed. I breathed through them as long as I could. Then a little after 11am, I was ready for "the juice". The epidural kicked in right away, and that's right around when my mom joined the party. She brought a bunch of goodies: valentines string lights, valentine cupcakes, flowers, and a valentine stuffed puppy. I was happy as a clam, feeling almost nothing. We watched tv and chatted.

Later in the afternoon, my dad joined the party. He got a kick out of watching my contractions on the monitor I was hooked up to. He would give me updates but I told him I could feel them. In fact, I noticed I was starting to feel them pretty strongly. I actually decided I'd start clicking my little button to use more pain medication. I didn't think it was making much of a difference but I figured I had to suck it up. My parents left to get dinner, and by the time they came back, I was in pain, really feeling my labor. I think this is around when my dad left to take out the dogs. And I just remember that was when things got very, very bad.

I told the nurse I needed to throw up. They got me a bucket and injected me with Zofran. It held off throwing up but my pain was getting unbearable. At this point, my pitocin was literally at the highest level allowed - 20. They were making me rotate positions every 15 minutes to try to move Hartley but she wasn't descending. 

I'll never forget, I was laying on my left side gripping onto my mom for dear life. I cried. I told her I thought I wasn't going to make it; the pain was too much. She did such a beautiful job of staying calm and trying to soothe me. She told me to be strong, that one day I would be helping my daughter through her labor. But I did see tears well up in her eyes for a split second, and my mom is not a crier. I knew she and Brian could tell I wasn't doing well. I told Brian to get a doctor, so he ran out of the room and did. 

Soon after, we learned my epidural had fallen out. Yes, I labored on the highest dosage of pitocin without an epidural until I was just over 9 centimeters dialated.

They quickly had me sit up in bed, and the anesthesiologist redid my epidural. I remember I was shaking uncontrollably. They told me I was shaking because my body was going into shock but that soon the epidural would help me, and 15 minutes later I felt better. It felt like labor but not like torture.

I remember telling everyone I couldn't hold off pushing any longer. And I remember my dad saying if I had to push a little to go ahead and do it. 

Finally the doctor came in and it was time to push. I pushed like a motherfucking beast. Yeah, no other way to describe it. For an hour and a half, I pushed like a motherfucking beast. No screaming just breathing and pushing because I was determined to end this shit. Brian and my mom both saw me crowning and told me I was close. And that last push was the greatest feeling of relief in my entire life. After 24 hours of labor, Hartley Glenn Crane entered the world at 2:03 am on Saturday, February 8th, 2014. 

I must say pushing was a thousand times easier than the rest of the labor. It feels like what they describe - intense pressure.

Brian cut the cord. They plopped H on my chest for probably 15 seconds, then the rushed to clean her off. 

Brian followed Hartley. I called across the room to ask what she looked like. How big? Did she have hair? What color? I'll never forget when he said she was blonde. I remember being so shocked, and proud that she had something from me! 

My mom stayed with me and held my hand as I delivered the placenta. She stayed with me while they stitched me up. 

My dad came in and everyone told turns holding Hartley. It was such a beautiful sight. Everyone cried happy tears. And such was the birthday of my little 7 lb, 1 oz peanut. 

Almost a year later, I can almost look back with a bit of nostalgia. It was probably the hardest, most terrifying day of my life but also, without a doubt, my proudest day.