Next blog I promise I'll include fun stuff like pictures. Since Brian is home, I feel bad spending a lot of time blogging because I don't want to waste our last bit of "just the two of us" time.
I had a sonogram today, and baby girl seems to be doing quite well. She was practicing using her lungs and doing a sucking motion with her lips. She was waving her hands in front of her sweet face. Though she was being active, I couldn't feel it. I don't feel her all that much lately but it's comforting to know that it's just me and not the baby.
She is measuring at 5 pounds, 11 ounces. I have known babies born at that size so it's pretty surreal to think she's that big. I think it sounds more in line with an average size baby (babies on average are 5.25 lbs at 35 weeks), and my guess is she'll end up being 8 pounds flat. That would be my preference too!
Hartley is head down. My cervix is nice, long and closed (the tech's words). So looks like girlfriend is snuggled in for a long winter's nap.
We need to call tomorrow to discuss the induction in more detail. I think we have a plan picked out but we want the doctor's reassurance that it is the right choice for us. Since I have no pregnancy complications currently, we want to ask the doctor what she thinks about me actually stretching the induction just a little further out than they normally do. God, I hope it's the right choice. There are so many conflicting opinions out there that I have found this extremely confusing. But I know the doctor will be honest with us, and her opinion is very important to me.
I will say this, as a first time mom, and being the IVF trailblazer among my family and friends, it's tough. It's very difficult not having a person to compare notes with. A lot of "normal" women don't really understand. And a lot of doctors do treat IVF patients differently, and it's confusing. I always thought I'd go to my mom with pregnancy questions. And while she expresses a desire to share her stories with me, she always advises me to ask the doctor because she knows my pregnancy
is different.
Well, I'll update on that whole big thing soon.
As we approach 2014 (how did that happen?), I'm brainstorming my New Years resolution. There are a lot of changes and new things we'll be doing but those aren't really resolutions. They are more like my mom/wife goals. My New Years resolution that is for me is to lose weight. By December 31st 2014, I want to be 30 pounds below my pre pregnancy weight. So, yeah, I'll probably be working on losing 50 pounds between the end of February through the end of the year. That's daunting but I'm going to take it little by little, and do it a safe, healthy way. I want to be a healthy mom, an attractive wife, but I actually really want to do this for myself. For years my goal has been to make a baby, and it usually wasn't about me. But I want this for me - to buy cute clothes and look in the mirror and feel like a beautiful woman. Last year I looked in the mirror and saw a broken woman, and I'd prefer never to see that again in my lifetime.
This year has been a truly spectacular one. It has been humbling, aching and overwhelmingly joyful. I have learned lessons this year that have trumped all of the previous years combined. I have never felt stronger, and I'm ready to use that strength in new ways. That strength is going to help me as I learn the ropes of motherhood and as I journey to become a more physically healthy version of myself.
Clearly this entry has gone from baby updates to my new aspirations in a completely non sensical way! But my pregnancy brain and my holiday carb coma just are making things that way these days. If I'm not on here tomorrow, a happy, healthy 2014 to you and yours! May your dreams come true and resolutions be achieved!
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