The Unsolicited Opinions Of Others

Normally I love when my sister comes in to town and visits. She's a fun loving breath of fresh air from the serious type of people that inhabit northern Virginia. But good lord, the few days she was here last week was my first lesson in the unsolicited opinions of others.

Now, to her defense, the girl is a long way off of having kids but she seemed to know a lot about everything. It's okay to drink alcohol while you're pregnant. You should maintain your normal lifestyle. She'll have a pregnancy free from wearing maternity cloths. And god forbid her kid has a peanut allergy, she'd give  that one up for adoption.

For a second I looked down at my expanding waistline, and thought, I'm only 15 weeks and my clothes don't fit anymore. Is there something wrong with me that I need maternity clothes... and soon. I'm a person who's so lucky to even be pregnant, I'd love a kid with peanut allergies. Here I am just hoping my kid comes out breathing. I don't drink alcohol during pregnancy; the risk outweighs the reward ten fold. And I don't work because my old job was pretty demanding. And I have cut back on doing as much as I used to because I get tired really easily.

Then I realized, "wait a second, she's never even been pregnant, and I'm letting her make me feel bad!" A girl who's never stepped inside a fertility clinic, and she's never had her belly expand due to an ever growing fetus, and I think she would be the one to know all?

I learned I need a harder outer shell because from what I hear from my girlfriends who've been here, this is going to happen a lot during pregnancy and even more during parenting. Most of my friends complain about their mother in laws giving all sorts of advice and being over bearing but not their sisters. I guess it just goes to show everyone has an opinion they are oh so willing to share.

I think people should do what works for them. If you need maternity clothes just shy of 16 weeks like me, go for it! They are so comfortable! And Gap makes REALLY cute pieces. If you don't, well you lucked out. Us bump bearers are spending money to look cute and stay comfy, and you got to avoid that expense.

If you want to drink while you're pregnant, go ahead. Hey, it's not my kid. I choose not to drink, and quite honestly, I don't miss it. I wasn't the girl going out to bars and getting bombed pre pregnancy so my social life wasn't tied to alcohol.

If you can be pregnant and maintain your old life exactly how it was, more power to you. Personally, I wasn't fortunate enough to keep my old energy level. And I am paranoid that certain things could hurt my baby. I'm not ashamed of that either. I choose my baby's health over 9 months of minor miss outs.

Now giving a kid up because of a peanut allergy because you think you're going to build a superior race? Well, I roll my eyes at that one. I chalk that up to being a dumb ass because people like that shouldn't breed anyway. The infertile in me wishes I could rip out that healthy woman's uterus and give it to a woman who would love her child regardless of their maladies.

But my point is, I don't care what other people do. Breast feed or don't breast feed? Natural birth or elective c-section? Disposable diapers or cloth ones? Cry it out or pick baby up right when it cries? I know what I'd like to do of these options but what I choose doesn't have to be what you choose. And vice versa. I'll never be the woman to shout "breast is best!" because who I am to judge other women and their situations.

I think, as women, our bodies and our babies are very personal to us. We are easily offended because they are things we care deeply for, which makes us awesome creatures. The one thing we need to work on is accepting what other people do with theirs. Even if it isn't for us. And when people try to make you feel like you're wrong with your choices, just give them a silent fuck you in your brain. I've already given a few, and it helps!