our road to IVF

When I found out I had PCOS in September 2010, the doctor told me not to think of it as "Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome". He told me what I needed to take away from the diagnosis is that I had a hormone imbalance that rendered me anovulatory and that having a baby might be difficult for me. Also, I needed to closely monitor my periods because with them being far apart I ran a much higher risk of endometrial cancer. 

I'm not sure which piece of information upset me more. I cried for days, which turned into weeks. As time passed, I began to cry less and less. 

I think I eventually choose not to give myself the PCOS label, though technically I do have it. I was diagnosed by my old gyno. It was confirmed by an endocrinologist, then again by the fertility clinic. While I acknowledge this and know it to be true, I decided let myself visualize getting pregnant naturally. I knew that if there were ever a woman who would beat the odds, it would be me. 

That thinking got me through a year and a half of trying to conceive. 

When I finally went in to talk to a new gyno (our insurance had changed), she said a year and a half was a long time to try on our own, especially with my having PCOS. It was time to start Clomid. I had not a single doubt in my mind that taking the Clomid cocktail was going to be how I would conceive.

It seemed I only ovulated once of my 3 Clomid cycles. Clomid alone, and at the lowest dose, was not going to be enough for me. 

When we began meeting with the fertility specialist, I was convinced the Clomid IUI process would work for us.

As time went on I began to realize the Clomid IUIs were not going well. Brian noticed too. They had me on a high dose of Clomid but I had a lot of trouble growing follicles. We started to notice this last cycle that they were scratching their heads over us. My ovaries had them stumped.

Yesterday was the first time the doctor flat out told us that the Clomid was not working as it should have been. It was the first time she told me she thought we needed to do IVF.

I never ever thought in a million years that we'd be where we are. If this doesn't work, which I believe it will, we will have exhausted all options.

IVF is the granddaddy of fertility treatments; it doesn't get much more amazing than this. I am researching as much as I can. What I have already learned is absolutely incredible.

We will meet with the doctor tomorrow, and she seemed to think we could jump right in to the process after that.

I don't think many 27 year old woman need to go the IVF route. It turns out instead of beating the odds, I ended up defying them. 

But I truly do believe this is it. I believe in my heart that this will bring us the baby we've been hoping and praying for for a very long time. I am thankful ever day for the absolutely amazing opportunities we have been given. I am so thankful for modern medicine and this extraordinary technology. I am so grateful for every prayer that has been said for us and every pair of fingers crossed for us.

Baby Crane, you have no idea how many people love you already. You are one lucky kid.