11 dpiui.

STATS:

point in cycle: 11 days past IUI

symptoms: absolutely none, feel 100% not pregnant

emotional state: calm, relaxed, eager to test

premonitions: unsure + or  -, gut says negative, boy

I have made it to 11 dpiui without a single pregnancy test in my house. I had the urge to pee on one all day but not having any saved me. 

I don't "feel pregnant". Women describe feeling lousy, being tired or "just knowing" during very early pregnancy. None of that applies to me. I have even returned to my normal sleep habits of waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep. I'm a true insomniac like my dad. 

I have been cleaning my house like a crazy person to manage any stress or anxiety. Thank God for yoga on Monday if this cycle ends up being negative because it's the best for managing stress. I'm not doing much yoga at home right now other than laying around in goddess pose; I'm terribly afraid of doing anything that could affect implantation. 

Every freaking cycle I say to Brian, "I feel pregnant". Today I told him, I just don't feel it. I have no cause to think I'm not pregnant either - but I just don't feel it. Maybe we've been let down so many times that I'm finally catching on to the not pregnant pattern.  Maybe since I've been under the affect of synthetic hormones for close to 11 months and my body feels weird regularly, I wouldn't even notice pregnancy symptoms.

I'm proud of myself this cycle. I've been very strong, so I just gotta keep it together now that the end is in sight. I had one bad day, which ended up being a horrible funk on 9 dpiui after posting my blog. I had decided if this cycle was negative I was giving up and going back to work. Brian talked me off the ledge.

It's the Ides of March, which would be an awful day to take a pregnancy test. Trying to hang in to get some good old Irish luck!