Now that I know for sure that I am pregnant and baby crane is in fact in there with a little beating heart I guess I can write more about my pregnancy.
Today was my first meeting with my OB. Well, really I just met with the nurse. They took down all my medical history. They asked some questions about my infertility journey. Which I'm learning that even some strangers think my story is endearing. The nurses, who I had never met, kept talking about how they knew the fertility clinic I came from and how they were so excited when they heard I was coming. Pregnant celebrity over here!
We also reviewed some don'ts. They hilariously acted like I was a pro with everything since I already have a set of instructions that are specific to me from my RE.
The nurse treated me to a pregnant woman's bag of halloween candy aka a giant bag filled to the brim with tons of prenatal vitamins to sample.
I was shocked when she told me I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow and that my due date was February 6th, not the 8th. How the hack can I be 9 weeks as of tomorrow?! I swear the IVF math is the craziest thing you'll ever see. And it's weird as hell to skip a little part of pregnancy so you get bumped ahead of the regular preggos.
So far pregnancy isn't bad with the exception of these things:
1. Not morning sickness... ALL DAY SICKNESS.
"Hi Page. This is your stomach talking. Think cereal is a safe bet? WRONG! I can fuck with you no matter what you eat." Yep, my own body drops the f bomb while it plays nasty tricks on my formerly unshakeable tummy.
2. I'm tired but oh wait, I have insomnia.
This takes turns with the nausea as my least favorite symptom. I will be so tired from doing nothing. Nothing = my body thinks I ran a marathon so it's super sleepy. I fall asleep. Then I wake up a couple hours later, and I have little kid energy. I poke Brian to see if he'll hang out with me. He says no so I start snuggling Winnie. Then she leaves me and walks over to Brian. I'm pretty sure she whispers, "Mom is on crack" in his ear.
3. They're not tears... it's allergies... I swear.
OK, they are major tears. Everything makes me cry. A squirrel that looks too skinny = tears.
My doctor told me all these things are super normal and are even signs of a healthy pregnancy. I guess if you're having the proper hormones surging through your body, they are causing this. I also continue to supplement my hormones which she said could also be a culprit.
My pregnancy remains very British. When the nurse said, "wow, 2.5 years of trying - you must be so excited!" I was like, "oh yeah." I should be dancing around all the time but I can't quite yet. And I'm starting to realize, there might not be a magical point where I can. I can't throw away all of my syringes, needles and IVF medications. There's still a drawer in my fridge labeled "Page's Meds". I want more than anything to have the strength to part with them but I can't. I think, "if I lose the baby, I'll need these again." I don't think I will lose the baby but I just can't help letting go of my security blanket. Funny to think I was so terrified of all those needles and now I just can't let them go.
And even though I get to vent on here - I have maintained my promise to myself. I can remember every day how lucky I am. There was a time, not too long ago, when I didn't know if I'd get to be here. And wow, how amazing it is I am. Once I'm "out" about my pregnancy and just telling the whole world, I'm proud to tell people I'm pregnant with a baby via IVF. Miracles happen... even if they make you want to set up shop right next to your toilet.
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