This particular phrase has been floating through my mind almost like an airplane banner daily. I've been yearning for a pause button, and it was reaffirmed when my very wise mom, who has three children herself, said it.
We had been talking about how Hartley now uses our names, and we can't get enough of it. When I get her from nap I hear a cheery, "hi, mommy". At night, I hear a sweet, "goodnight, mommy". Sometimes if I'm really lucky I get a, "hug, mommy?" when she asks for a hug. She does it with Brian and my parents, too. Brian will come home from work and she'll scream, "hi, daddy!" and run into his arms. Today when my dad left she said so casually, "bye, Pops!"
When babies are young, you relish in those early smiles and laughs and take them as the reassurance you need to power through that giant adjustment of becoming a parent. Then you hear your child say "mama" for the first time, and you think it could not possibly get any better. Then they communicate with you so purposefully and address you letting you know what an important role you play. It's ridiculously simple to some but for me it's been amazing and so fulfilling.
Every day around here is pretty great, and I know I'm living in the golden years.
Watching Hartley begin to really interact with Patrick has completely melted my heart. It never gets old taking her upstairs with me each morning to "help me" get him from nap. At the top of the stairs I ask her, "Hartley, where's Patrick?" And she knocks on his door, as if Patrick was magically going to turn the knob to let us in ;)
I turn the knob and open the door. Hartley waltzes in, Winnie always trailing her, "Hi, Patrick!" "Patrick!" "He's SO cute!"
Patrick lights up, happy to see all his favorite girls have come to get him to play.
Sometimes Hartley sticks her head in between the bars of his crib to peer in, and he laughs hysterically.
It's little sweet things like that scattered throughout my day that remind me how lucky I am - and how much I wish we could stay here. Everyone is happy. Everyone is healthy. And everyone is beyond loved.
Every day we make memories. Simple memories. Finger painting in the bathtub. Finding out what play dough tastes like. Snuggling the dog. Snuggling each other. Learning how to sing songs. Learning to chasse and do somersaults. Tossing toys down the slide. Picking flowers and digging in the dirt. Holding worms. Drawing works of art. Licking frosting off cupcakes. Putting stickers everywhere and discovering the inner workings of a ball point pen. Taking bubble baths in the big girl tub. Hunting for Easter eggs. Chasing every animal. Sliding. Swinging. Running. Jumping. Cheering for nothing at all.
The sun stays out later so so do we.
And outside, everything is so wonderful. Everything must be explored. We talk about all the colors of the flowers and are working on our dandelion blowing skills. And when I tell Hartley to make a wish on that dandelion, it occurs to me I have nothing else to wish for.
This is not to say I'm never tired. I am exhausted every single day of my life. My body physically aches from all the infant and toddler lifting and chasing I do. But is it weird to say it's an ache I almost like? It lets me know my body is working and doing so much each day. With that said I still wouldn't mind if my massive infant could slow his roll with that growing ;)
When Hartley was a young baby I sometimes found being a stay at home mom to be monotonous. Let's face it, infants are cute but they don't do that much. I remember texting Brian during the day on those bored days saying, "that yellow school bus won't get here fast enough!" But now the thought of Hartley someday leaving me for school is actually scary. I'll obviously have Patrick for a bit longer but I'm no where close to wanting these days to end. I love having them home with me and having this time.
Sometimes I will pick out a sappy book during story time, something about mamas and their babies, and I literally start to cry at the thought of these golden years not lasting forever.
I love when moms say it just keeps getting better. But for now I'm going to soak in the mispronounced words and the arms of my babies wrapped around my neck like a scarf. I'll continue to sniff Patrick's hair when he falls asleep on me. I'll just keep listening to my baby girl sing songs over the baby monitor. I'll smooch Patrick's ridiculously chubby cheeks. I'll soak in when Hartley leads me around by grabbing my hand with her sweet little girl fingers. I'll take way too many pictures.
And on that rare rough day where I'm begging God to make those school bus days get here faster, I'll reread this and remember that these really are the days, even the messy ones.
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