The Day I Found Out.

June 1st, 2013 is permanently etched in my mind as the most wonderful day of my life to date. 

Let's start the day before, Friday, May 31st. That day Brian and I went with my sister and her boyfriend to St.Michael's, Md. We ate a bunch of crabs and then walked around the town going in to little shops. I saw the cutest little crafty signs about grandparents and wanted to buy them for both sets of our parents but had no idea if the transfer had indeed worked. It was a million 91 degrees and super sunny. I told Brian I felt kind of dizzy walking through the little stores. I told him it must've been a bad batch of crabs because I felt nauseous, too. Then it came time to eating ice-cream. I wanted the biggest bowl on the face of the earth. But shortly after starting the ice-cream, I was forcing it down. I finally just handed the rest off to Brian which he was pleased about. I paid all of this weirdness no mind.

The next day was the day of my dad's retirement party. Brian asked me if I wanted to go to the gym that morning before we started our day. I told him the couch was more appealing. He went on his merry way. I finally started to do some reading about the IVF two week wait. To my surprise I learned that a 5 day frozen embryo transfer isn't nearly a "two week wait". Women can get positive pregnancy tests in as little as 5 days after their transfer. I thought to myself, "Whoa, I'm 8 days past my transfer."

I ran upstairs and peed in a cup. The pee was clear. Bad idea, Page. Dump that super clear pee down the toilet. (In case you aren't familiar, you want some nice medium-dark urine, concentrated stuff for a pregnancy test.)

I go downstairs and continue reading. I decide, screw it. I'm going to use some stupid clear pee, and it'll be negative but what the hell. Well, it was stupid clear pee. But it sure wasn't negative. 

Holy shit. How am I going to tell Brian?! All cutesy ideas tossed out the window, I just called him. He had just gotten out of the gym. I told him, "don't be mad at me." He asked why he would be mad at me. I explained I peed on a freaking stick damn early... but that it was positive. We talked the whole time he drove home. When he pulled in, he ran inside to inspect the stick. His eyes welled up with tears. He was soaked it sweat from the gym, and he hugged me so tight. He held me for a solid 10 minutes, and our bodies were shaking we were both crying so hard.

I debated whether or not to tell my family. It's rare for my sister to be in town. I decided I wanted to tell my parents first, then my siblings. I actually drove to my parents' house, and they weren't there. It felt like the longest few hours of my life just waiting to tell them right before the party. 

I gave my dad a little sign/plaque. When he was opening it, I told him it was a retirement gift. The sign read something like, "The sweetest things in life are sometimes the littlest things, Grandbabies." Under it I put a note that read, "I'm so glad you're retiring so you'll have plenty of time to spend with your first grandchild, expected to arrive February 8, 2014." It took a second for my dad to piece it together. I mean, the guy was preoccupied putting together a party for 90 people. My mom got a little teary. They are over the moon.

 After the party, I went home and peed on 2 more sticks - digital tests so they were less sensitive. But sure enough "YES" and "PREGNANT" popped up right away.

The next morning, another stick. Another "YES". I told Brian we'd wait until 9 am and then call his parents. My mother in law was crying tons of happy tears; probably almost as much as Brian and I had the day before. My father in law was out at the gym so we went over to their house and told him in person. We also called Brian's aunt and told Brian's siblings. Everyone was very happy.

The next day my in-laws sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers. And Brian's dad wrote him a very heartfelt e-mail telling him he'd be a great dad. 

I continue to pee on sticks. I continue to get the words "YES" and "PREGNANT". My blood test in Friday but I have not a single doubt in my mind that they will be delivering good news. And some time in the second half of June, I'll have my first sonogram. 

I won't say the past two and a half years have been easy. Sometimes they were excruciating. Some of the pain I felt was so horrible that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But my God, I am one very lucky person. I am so grateful every second of every day that Brian and I are finally getting the opportunity to be parents. Now it'll just be a nice little wait to finally hold and snuggle my baby crane. 

I am bloated, emotional, pregnant proof that miracles do happen. I don't deserve this miracle any more than any other infertile woman, so I will always remember how lucky I am and cherish something that many other woman will try so hard for and never get to have.