Milestones

Can I just say the theme over the past few months has been exhaustion? I look back and laugh about the fact that I thought two under two would be the hard part. The world's biggest 13 month old and a pretty stubborn 2 year old? Wow. Just wow. They are both so wonderful and so much fun but they double team me like nobody's business! I can easily say I'm the most tired I'm ever been but I'm so enjoying watching my little people grow and blossom. 

Today I'm sharing a little bit about some big milestones.

First, today, October 1st, Patrick started walking. He's been cruising for a long time, and a couple weeks ago had started taking single steps. But today he decided he can actually walk a few feet so he just stood right up and did it! And did it again, and again, and again. I am so proud of him. There's nothing like seeing your little one learn something new and watching their face beam with pride as they show it off. While I'm really happy and it was time, this also hit me a little hard. Even though Patrick is huge, him walking later than Hartley did has made him feel like my baby a little longer. He still doesn't feel like a toddler, though I know that's changing very soon now. Because he's my second baby and might be my last, I actually never worried about when he was going to walk - I really savored him him crawling around. And hey, I still probably have a few more weeks of watching his sweet tush predominantly crawl, right? ;)

Also, Hartley did some awesome things in ballet today. Someday I really want to write a blog about our full ballet experience. But for now, a little cliff notes version. 

First, I signed Hartley up for ballet because she loves to dance so I figured this class would be a great way to socialize, learn how to be in a different setting, and follow directions. Well, I had no idea how hard it would be the first day of the spring season. I told myself my goal was to attend every class unless one of us was sick, and we made our goal. She did progress a little each class but the recital was horrendous. I bawled the entire car ride home and swore I'd never do it again. I googled adaptive ballet classes but I found none in our area. 

So when it was time to register for fall, I didn't entirely want to but I knew it was the best thing for Hartley. She was so excited for her first class; it was so wonderful to see. Luckily, she picked up where she left off last season, which I definitely viewed as a victory.  Her first class ever I literally had to carry the whole time because she was so uncomfortable, and she cried. This season she started out not needing to be carried and not shedding a single tear.

To get nitty gritty and be honest, you can tell Hartley is different than the other girls. She's unable to "read the room" and has a lot of difficulty following the directions. Sometimes she kind of checks out, and it might seem like she's deaf (I'm sorry, but that's the best way to describe). I actually noticed last season that a couple other moms could tell Hartley was a little different so they actually tried to get their daughters to partner up with Hartley, which was absolutely amazing of them. Last season, she would not partner with any of the other girls - she only did it once out of ten classes when a dad essentially made his daughter just lock hold of Hartley's hands and pull her across the room. 

Well, this year she has made incredible strides. The past two classes she was able to hold hands with other girls and chasse across the room. And today, I was floored when Hartley heard her name called and was able to hop up to the teacher on her own and do a roll. She also was able to go up to the teacher to receive her sticker at the end of class. All brand new things for us! I know the other girls were able to do these things starting their first season on their first class, and they might sound silly to outsiders who haven't attended this kind of class, but for us, these things are a big deal. Hartley is shy and has a tendency to become aloof in a group setting. I think these social interactions are a lot for her because she doesn't know how to navigate them. So the fact that she's learning how to is absolutely amazing! She's going outside her comfort zone and learning new things - nothing can make a parent prouder.

Honestly, waking up on Saturdays and getting her ready, I experience a little anxiety. Last season, I worried so much what the other mothers and girls thought of us. And honestly, there were times when I did wonder if we (mainly I) were being judged. I adapt the class for Hartley. I balance trying to push her to participate and trying to not be too hard on her while simultaneously trying to make sure we aren't disrupting everyone else's experience. Last season Hartley's teacher had pulled me aside to tell me what a nice job I was doing, and I then felt comfortable enough to tell her Hartley had a language delay so we were trying our very best, our best just might be a little bit of a different best.

Each class gets better. And if you told me after the last recital that we'd get where we were today, I would've told you you were crazy. So she's exceeding my expectations, and I'm very, very proud of her. 

This past week has kicked my ass. Not gonna lie. There have been moments I've felt like I was drowning. At the end of the day, I have no energy or patience left, and my body physically aches. I feel like I'm perpetually tired and behind. So my children's victories today have helped me immensely. I know that even if I just feel subpar lately, I know I'm playing a big role in all these exciting new milestones that are happening for them. That feels pretty damn good. 

Now, rain, rain go away so my boy can get practicing walking on some new terrain, and we can get some much needed sunshine and fresh air! Let the most beautiful month that Virginia has to offer begin!