33 weeks, 2 days

Today is Baby Shower Day! I'm very, very excited for it. Brian says I'm more excited this go around. The truth is - I am. Last time the thought of no one coming or asking people to drive through nasty, dangerous weather was pretty depressing. Today is supposed to be gorgeous weather. And the people coming from further distances (Maryland! Haymarket!) can make it. Everyone invited to this shower is important to us but it means a very, very great deal to me that my grandmother, aunts, and a few women who've known me literally my entire life will be there. And last time I couldn't ask them to brave the beltway in dangerous conditions. Side bar: it is pretty amazing, while only one of my grandmas can attend, that Hartley will get to meet both her great grandmothers on my side. 

This day has been a very long time coming. Not only the 33 weeks of pregnancy I have under my belt, but all the time we spent working on this baby. I used to go to showers as an infertile, get a little sad and come home and cry to Brian, how come I couldn't have one. And here we are, I'm 7.5 months pregnant with our daughter, and I am having a baby shower. 

I'm also oddly nervous. Something a lot of my friends don't know about me is I am actually an introvert. I get a little nervous in big groups of people and get really nervous when something centers around me. At bridal showers, I had a little liquid courage to take the edge off but not today! I'm pretty sure at one point I'll get teary too - pregnancy and any sweet gestures from people usually equals me being a pile of mush. 

I didn't do my 33 week update. I will try to before the week is up :)

Yesterday I was too busy getting pampered. I (best esthetician I know) gave myself a nice long, detailed facial, got a massage, and got my nails done. I purposely saved a red door gift card for this uncomfortable point in pregnancy, and let me tell you, prenatal massages are the best. Better than chocolate, better than sex - the best thing ever.

Brian ran out to the grocery store to buy me some creamer, and he'll make us breakfast. I love being princess, even if only for a day or two! And I have to savor this because soon I'll have to return to sore, uncomfortable, exhausted Pregnant Town, USA! 

We survived a lot of baby learning!

Yesterday completed our baby learning for now. Yes, in the span of 6 days, we had 5 classes/meetings pertaining to our baby. And I'm not even including my hour long doctor appointment yesterday. 5 classes = 13, yes, THIRTEEN hours worth of information. 

We are both thoroughly burnt out, and neither of us wants to talk about Apgars, jaundice or latching again until baby is actually here.

The pediatrician yesterday seemed fine. She talked fast and I was exhausted so it wasn't like I was sitting there just falling in love with their practice. But they got good reviews, are close by, and offer all the standard things we were told to look for. 

Even though I can't take a physical break from baby, I'm taking a mental hiatus until the baby shower on Saturday. And I honestly don't feel like I even need to pick up a baby book anymore. But maybe I'll do some cramming in late January. 

I finally slept. I slept without Benadryl for 8 hours. I woke up with a headache and sore and achy but at least I know my body got what it really needed for once. Last night I actually used my pregnancy pillow for the first couple hours of sleep. I used lavender oil. So maybe I'll be making those a routine. I might even indulge in some sleepy time tea tonight too. My body just seems to need extra rest (carrying around 5 lbs of human, maybe?) and I've heard a million times I should "sleep before the baby comes". 

I didn't even mention that Hartley looked great yesterday. She looked perfect. Active. Practiced using her lungs. Perfect heartbeat. Had hiccups during the appointment. She remains head down. And the tech said she will likely stay that way as she is running out of room to move. I guess that's a perk of being "short bodied" with a decent sized baby? She can't do cartwheels even if she wanted to! No space. 

I'm looking forward to the baby shower. No chance of snow in sight. I wish I were a happier, more pleasant pregnant woman but I'm sure I'll perk up before the party. And it's very nice that people are taking time out of their last minute holiday hustle and bustle to celebrate our little one. 

Plus, I'm going to make a massage appointment for Friday, and that should make me a new woman. I'm debating even getting my nails done for the shower - something I almost never treat myself to. But truth be told, I'm not entirely sure I can paint my own toenails anymore. Apparently at 7.5 months pregnant touching your toes isn't easy. 

Hopefully I'll be back on tomorrow with my 33 week stats but forgive me if I take a full on break from baby tomorrow! 

Kidney stones - and about 7 more weeks of this!

Yesterday was kind of a crazy day. After I wrote yesterday's blog, I actually got a little housework done. I cooked dinner knowing that Brian could just reheat his and eat it after Baby Basics class. 

Well, a few times during the day I had a sharp, stabbing pain in my right side. I convinced myself it was just a weird pregnancy thing. But when I was cooking dinner it was pretty painful. And it didn't just last a few minutes. I'd stop moving for a second and do some of the breathing techniques we learned in class. It's actually pretty interesting (and I actually learned this as a laser tech) that people have the tendency to forget to breathe when they are in pain. The breathing actually helped a little.

But then the pain became even more constant. When we were in class, I was having a little trouble focusing. I mentally debated asking Brian if we could leave. But we paid 24 bucks for this, and I needed to learn this stuff. Though, I also thought about telling the nurse who was teaching because it was really unpleasant.

Well, the worst came when we were winding down before bed. It hurt like hell. I couldn't lay on my right side. It was hard to breathe. I told Brian something had to be wrong. And of course everything online said pregnant women with sharp pain in their side should immediately seek medical help. I was looking for some affirmation. I needed to know that I wasn't nuts if I called my doctor. Brian told me it was probably just the baby sitting on a nerve. I told him that I just didn't think that was it; it really hurt. He told me to take Benadryl and sleep through the pain. I already had a doctors appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning so I should tough out the next 10 hours.

I took the Benadryl. And I must've just drifted off to dreamland quickly.

It didn't last long though. 45 minutes after popping the pills I woke up choking and gasping for air. I knew I was choking on my own vomit. I could taste it. Instinctively I gasped for air and kept trying to swallow as I ran to the bathroom. Brian asked if I was ok, and I shook my head. No, I'm not ok. He started to fall back asleep, and I didn't make it to the toilet before throwing up this clear sticky stuff in my hands. I told Brian, "something is really wrong. I think I need to go to urgent care." Imagine taking two Benadryl, being in a fog and being terrified. You feel this stabbing, you're worried about yourself and your baby. You're so afraid to fall back asleep out of fear of choking again.

He slept like a log. I took my temperature. Normal. I inspected my tummy to see if there was any redness, hardness or anything I could visibly see. I asked Brian to look so he woke up for a minute, felt my stomach and said it felt fine. 

I got back in bed. 3 pillows under me so I wouldn't choke. And I whispered to Brian that I loved him. There was a panicked part of me that was afraid of not waking up. 

Well, I lived to tell about it. But when I got to the doctor I told them, "I have to tell you about my crazy night." I told them everything. They inspected my kidneys during the ultrasound, and apparently they found something on the right one (some long medical jargon). They found my ureter was stretched out and open - the opposite of the closed ureters pregnant women usually have. It is usually closed because the uterus puts so much pressure on it. Mine was open, they said from passing a stone. Yeah, imagine something that is normally closed due to a uterus weighing on it, being stretched out. No wonder it hurt like a mother fucker. They inspected my urine. Something was wrong with it - white cells, platelettes, jargon I didn't get. They got another sample to send out for inspection. And they put me on antibiotics to prevent a kidney infection, if I don't already have one. I'm hoping their diagnosis is correct. To be honest, the area of pain made me think preeclampsia.

I told the doctor how Brian always reminds me that he knows how bad labor hurts because he had a kidney stone. The doctor gave me the "oh, silly men" look that all smart women know. I told her I was going home to tell him that I passed a stone, while pregnant, with no help from urgent care. Boom. Owned. 

Morals of the story:

1. Don't take Benadryl for pain. Call the damn doctor! Who cares if it even is a false alarm. Good lord, if I listen to my husband again I'll be popping Benadryl for contractions!! Plus, now I'm on antibiotics. If I hadn't already had an appointment for today this could have lead to big, big trouble.

2. Women are stronger than men. I kind of already knew that. 

3. Drink water. As much as you can fit in yourself. Cause those little bitches hurt. 

Ugh, fly by next 7 weeks! I'll tell you, after telling Brian last night that I'm not doing this again, I am so convinced that this is all she wrote, folks. One and done - for the win. And if Brian wants a son, I'm 100% cool with getting a boy dog :) 

32 weeks, 4 days.

So Brian and I had child birth class on Saturday and Sunday. Neither of us were that excited to spend 4+ hours in a classroom on both weekend afternoons. But we knew it was something we should do. We were both pleasantly surprised though - the speakers were great and we learned so much. 

I'm not afraid of my first time mom status. All moms are a first time mom once, and we all have to venture into a new realm that we start out knowing nothing about!

They covered so much! We took a tour of the hospital, learned the anatomy and stages of labor, learned breathing techniques and learned birthing options from no drugs to c sections. They covered complications and what they do to handle them. We learned how to diaper a baby and learned breast feeding basics. We had pediatrician guest speakers who talked about baby basics and what questions to ask when interviewing a pediatrician. We learned what to pack in our hospital bag, and how dad can help from pregnancy to helping with the baby. They made the dads to be massage the mamas to be during class! We learned countless small tips and tricks. Best $130 parents to be can spend; I highly recommend it to any first time parents to be. 

Tonight we'll attend our baby basics class. I'm thinking some will be repeat but repetition is awesome for learning. 

But I won't lie, I'm really tired and would rather lounge around drinking a hot tea and watching Elf. 

This week is so busy, and I just want to stay in bed lately. Yeah, I'm now tired for real third trimester reasons. It's not hormonal fluctuations, morning sickness or anemia - it's good old fashioned being too big to get comfy at night and getting worn out quickly during the day. 

Last night I woke up at 3 am and flipped and flopped trying to get comfortable. I had taken Benadryl the last 2 nights so I was going to tough it out. Well at 5 am I caved and took one. It worked. I woke up  at 9, sore because the pillow had slipped from between my legs while I was sleeping. I wanted to eat French toast and drink real coffee, so I did. Then I had to bring something to Brian, his gift for his work's white elephant exchange that he forgot at home. Ugh, eating something super buttery and sugary and drinking caffeine then getting in the car... STUPID. He was thankful when I pulled in. It seemed like he was going to even give me a thank you hug but I told him I couldn't stay for even a minute. I had to find a bathroom. Well, thank god for private Starbucks bathrooms. 

So now I feel drained, trying to stay hydrated. I feel tired. I feel sore. And I have so much to do. 

I think I'm going to try to power through life through Thursday. Then I think if I get all my stuff done, I'm going to treat myself to a Page day on Friday. I have been saving a spa gift card for when I get really uncomfortable, and I'm ready to use it Friday :)

Everything has been kind of weird lately. I'm big and tired. I've been having the tummy trouble I alluded to earlier for a few days now. I'm eager to have the shower so I can really get ready for the baby. I still have to buy some Christmas presents. Brian has been under a lot of stress since work has been so busy. It definitely affects his mood when he's home. And I don't have the energy to balance it out. He's already told me he'll have work to do over the holidays but I'm planning a couple date nights. We can't be this worn out before the baby even comes!

And it's tough, I'm feeling like I need a little extra love right now and feeling like he doesn't have the time or patience to give it to me. Thank God for Christmas break. 

I'm hoping we can be productive, romantic, and social - not only with family things but actually see some friends too! Our calendar looks crammed so the rule in the house these days are to make no additional plans, and definitely not without consulting each other. 

Ok, time drink my Gatorade and ask Santa for some better sleep and more energy. 

Oh, and not this can be helped because both are out of my control but being a short bodied woman with a bigger baby - I'm not a fan. A little scared if she stays on this path and goes to 40 weeks to be the 9 pounder projected. 7ish pounds sounds better, Santa :) 

Baptism class.

So we checked our first class off our list last night! Granted, it will likely be the easiest and definitely the shortest. 

Baptism class was a little over an hour, and it was just learning the meaning and learning the logistics. 

Brian was bored out of his skull watching the baptism video. Meanwhile, crazy pregnant lady over here is trying not get tears during it. But I knew when I was watching the babies be baptized on the video that we were making the right decision. I didn't realize that it mattered to me as much as it did until I saw the little ones being welcomed in to the church. 

They said we could pick the date already but I'm not doing that yet. Though I'm thinking late April or some time in May. We have godparents in mind but have to ask them. One has to be a practicing Catholic and the other doesn't have to be practicing but must be the opposite gender from said Christian witness. After we ask them and after Hartley is born, we'll figure out a date. I'm not entirely sure what to do about the reception as our house doesn't fit many, so I will likely be asking my parents for use of their house. And I'm not entirely sure about making a big deal out of it but I think extended family would be invited? Which is huge. But my friends invited their extended families. Brian has 1 aunt but of course I have 7 aunts, 6 uncles, not to mention my 15 cousins and their significant others. I don't even know about inviting friends, I think I'd opt not to? Or maybe just invite the friends who we attended their children's baptisms?

This is the last thing I'm really thinking about but it feels great to have it checked off our list. We attended class, paid ten bucks for our baptism candle and bib, and just have to call whenever we're ready to schedule it. Boom. One less thing.

Today is a day off from baby things but tomorrow we jump full speed ahead into the birth class. I'm gonna need a coffee for sitting and listening for 4.5 hours...

Today's Hartley update: it's all about movement. I'm feeling hiccups low and kicks high. She was a wild woman at 4:45 this morning so I just laid there loving it. Feeling her thump around in there is so comforting, and it makes me feel so connected with her. 

32 weeks.

Us gals at 32 weeks:

How far along? 32 weeks. Can you believe it?!

Total weight gain: 11 pounds (this gets crazier when you hear how big H is) 

Maternity clothes? Yes. And the top photo I'm in my favorite maternity sweater - so cozy.

Stretch marks? Yep.

Best moment of the week? Seeing our sweet girl today and hearing how everything looks normal. She looks healthy and perfect!

Miss anything? Alcohol. Not being fragile - though Brian was great at helping me in the car while I dodged ice patches. Being able to put on boots with ease.

Movement? Yep. She's a mover and a shaker... And I just started feeling her hiccups! The doctor said hiccups are a sign of a very healthy baby.

Food cravings? No real cravings to note

Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope!

Have you started to show? Oh yes! See photo above :) though people stroke my ego and tell me how good I look. Most people tell me I still look pretty small, which is nice to hear. 

Gender: girl. Every ultrasound I hear, "well there's no denying she's definitely a girl".

Belly button in or out? In... For now.

Wedding rings on or off? Off. And I have a feeling it might be a while before I pop my engagement ring back on. I've heard high set diamonds can scratch little babes so I might just sport my wedding ring for a while after birth.

Happy or Moody? Let me tell you - today is the happiest day of my pregnancy. Hearing how healthy Hartley looks was music to my ears. So so happy right now!

Looking forward to: the baby shower! And this is greedy, I'm looking forward to getting some awesome stuff at the shower. I have been amazing during this pregnancy, truly I've hardly bought anything clothes/blankets/toys/gear wise. So if Hartley came tomorrow, I would have onesies and a few days worth of disposable diapers donated to us from a friend. That's it! So I'm excited to get more prepared and get to be the mama to be showered with love and gifts.

Today's appointment was perfect. They said out of eight things they tested, Hartley did well on all eight. She is looking perfectly healthy. She is estimated to be 4 pounds, 7 ounces - which is in the 80th percentile. My mom had big babies, and I married a big guy - so literally everyone I talked to about this stuff had predicted a big baby from the moment I announced I was pregnant. IVF babies might be notoriously small but not this one!

She is head down. Head is low, snug against the birth canal. When I felt how low during the internal ultrasound, it was pretty weird! She is sprouting some hair already (yay! That's from dad - I was a bald baby!). She was showing off - practicing using her lungs and being an active little sweetie. 

They turned on the 3D ultrasound, and I was curious to see if Brian thought she looked like someone. When we left the room he told me, "she looks like you!" Who knows what'll happen to those features between now and arrival time but after seeing her in there, I'm positive they put in the correct embryo!! 

I think she'll have dark hair for some reason. But my friend told me she dreamt Hartley was blonde. 

Big, healthy, active, and cute to boot - I feel so lucky and so blessed. I seriously can't wait to meet her.

I am terrified of labor. I've heard so many horror stories. Plus, relying on my body is not my forte. So hopefully this weekend helps to ease those fears a little bit.

Whew, I'm telling myself 8 weeks is a long time so I have more time to get ready. But Brian is one excited papa to be because he gets all giddy when he talks about how close it is. 

Can HARTLEY wait! 

a mama crane is nesting.

So I've idealized bringing baby home for quite a while. A winter baby so it's cold outside and the three of us just snuggle in our cozy house. But let's be honest, those first few weeks I'm just going to be struggling to keep my head above water. Feed, burp, change diaper, teeny nap, repeat. Pump. Not entirely sure where showering, cooking, dishes, and laundry will fit in but they'll squeeze in there. The one thing I don't want to worry about is cleaning. And I don't want to avoid having visitors because my house is in hopeless and complete disarray. I'm sure no one is expecting me to be Martha Stewart but I refuse to have my guests sit on a dirty toilet seat or feel like they spent an hour in a musky, dusty cave. I don't care if women say this just happens when you have kids. Gross. I have a plan.

I will completely admit something: there are some cleaning tasks I only do a couple/few times a year. They are on my "nesting list". I'll first start with the stuff I do least often: washing couch slip covers, washing Winnie's toys (and throwing out the ones that are way too ragged to even be used), organizing Brian's dresser and my dresser, throwing away socks with no match, donating things, organizing the linen closet, washing the oven mitts, etc. 

Then I'll move on to the stuff I want to avoid doing at least the first couple months the babe comes: cleaning the microwave, windexing windows, dusting moulding, etc.

Then in those last few weeks the higher traffic areas will be cleaned.

I will still be doing a little cleaning those first few months. Thank God cleaning companies have made life so easy. 

Things that always offer a quick fix, that we love:

1. Clorox wipes. When Brian moved out of his parents' house he told me he didn't know how to clean. My cousin told him: Clorox wipes. And guess what? He used them, and they were completely 23 year old guy proof. I love them, and buy those in three packs because I will inevitably use them. Best things ever for a quick 2 minute toilet seat cleaning. 

2. Clorox toilet wand. If you don't have this, I pity you. Brian found that Target carries a 20 refill pack, so you better believe we bought that bitch. Cleaning your toilet has never been so easy - and so much less gross than a nasty wand you've used for years. 

3. The vacuum and swiffer ritual. Take a few minutes to vacuum and a few minutes to swiffer, and voila, the house smells good and just looks a thousand times better. I never want to have real hardwood floors because this routine for laminate wood is amazeballs. Vacuuming a carpet just makes a room look so clean. I only wish I could figure out how to do what Mama Godfrey used to do. The woman bought this scented stuff for her vacuum, and after she'd vacuum the house smelled amazing. 

My house has slipped while I've been pregnant. And even Brian has told me this. He's said, "this is so not my wife." And it really isn't me. I now can't get my vacuum downstairs so I require a lot more help. Plus things like bleach, because of the fumes, freak me out. Especially now that I can't open windows to ventilate. Oh, and my body is tired from growing a human. So I thought I would splurge and get a one time cleaning of our house in January but unless I find a stellar groupon deal, that's too much. So the hubby will help carry my supplies to the floor I need them on, and I'll get busy. 

Oh and future morning sickness cleaning tip for women who plan on doing the pregnancy thing: find a natural lemon scented cleaner. Lemon neutralizes odors. It was the only smell that didn't offend me. So I bought Mrs.Meyers Lemon cleaning products. Using that on my counters allowed me to walk in to my kitchen. Granite is porous, and you WILL smell everything that has been prepared on them. I can't stress lemon enough. And put a sliced lemon in your disposal to freshen it. 

Now I need to go and start my very, very long nesting checklist...

But before I do can I share something unrelated?

The thing I'm so looking forward to in two months (besides the obvious), is not being so fragile. It's felt like forever since I could live my life without constantly having to think about my body: things affecting my baby, my fertility or resting/healing post treatments/surgery. Seriously, I couldn't even drink last Christmas because of being post IUI. I can't wait to not have to think like that (though I won't get bombed while breast feeding). And once breast feeding is over, I get this body to myself! YAY! No more medicine, no more "taking it easy". Boom - awesome!