Hartley is half a year old!

Dear Hartley,

Wow, you're already 6 months old! You have changed so much since the day you were born.

I'll never forget when the hospital staff was going to have us move from the delivery room to our recovery room. I was in a wheelchair, and they wanted me to hold you as they moved all of our stuff to our new room. You were so teeny that I remembered thinking you were too fragile for me to hold in my lap while they pushed us. Now, you require a tight grip at all times because you will try to slither your way down my lap so you can go nuts on the floor. You just want to move on your own whether its rolling or scooting on your back. You are so close to crawling. And that's terrifying but exciting at the same time.

6 months ago you were just a hair over 7 pounds; now you are a hair over 19 pounds. You went from a tiny peanut to my little wild woman. 

The biggest change from 5 months to 6 months was you overcoming your stranger anxiety. All of a sudden you are a total flirt. You love attention from anyone who will give it to you. You are always laughing and always smiling. You exude such a large personality out of that little body. The number one adjective people use to describe you is "fun". Even as I write this, I can't quite find the words to describe it. But today at the doctor's office I told the doctor, "she's got a lot of personality. Actually, maybe you would even call her wild." And his response? "Oh, I can see that."

You are now starting to play on your own with toys. You "read" books. This is by far my favorite trick of yours. It is adorable. I guess we read to you so much that you mimick it with your soft books. Also, basically anything you can get your hands on is a toy. Everything is interesting and needs to be thoroughly studied. You still love books but get preoccupied with turning the pages, and that kind of shortens the stories. Our current favorite reads are The First Pup, Olivia, Tacky, and The Belly Button Book. You very much enjoy the written word - I've never seen a baby so focused on writing before.

Freddie the firefly was probably your favorite toy this month. You also really enjoy your stuffed animals, especially chewing on them.

You love to grab Winnie. I think you love the softness of her fur. She loves to lick you until your soaked. And you laugh while she grooms you. 

You still love baths in your whale tub. 

You went to the beach this month. You were so brave! You did a great job splashing in the pool and dipping your toes in the ocean. You also did a wonderful job during the very long car ride to South Carolina. The way home took 12 hours, and you were a champ!

You were very well behaved at Aunt Laura's wedding. That's right - you went to your first wedding and officially got a new uncle!

As always, we are so proud of you. You continue to amaze us, and we just keep falling more in love with you. Today I got teary, hugged you tight and asked you not to grow up any more. But the truth is, you get more fun with each passing day. You keep me on my toes. You keep me exhausted. But you bring me so much joy, and I truly can't wait to see what's next.

We love you, our sweet girl. Happy 6 months! 

And of course, we had to include a picture of you reading:

What I've Learned Over The Last 6 Months

Ok, clearly I'm not a motherhood expert. I don't claim to be. But I thought it might be fun to share what I've learned over 6 months of motherhood. Tomorrow I'll be updating on Hartley at 6 months. This is a little more about me and what the last half a year have been like as a mom.

I wish I had the brain power to put these in some sort of order but I don't. So here goes a random compilation of 6 months of learning.

1. That insantaneous love is not a myth. It is so incredible how your baby enters the world and you fall in love right away. It's indescribable but I guess I'll choose the word "amazing".

2. I had heard breastfeeding comes naturally, and I think for some women it really does. But I learned breastfeeding is hard, and it kind of hurts. Hartley and I never got past the painful, frustrating stage of breastfeeding.

3. Changing dirty diapers isn't as gross as other people make it sound.

4. Keeping number 3 in mind, put the right size diaper on your child. Don't squeeze them in to one too small. Just give the too small diapers to a friend with a smaller baby.

5. Wear a ponytail during the hours when your baby is awake.

6. Enjoy wearing earrings... when you're not around your baby.

7. Don't paint your nails during naptime. That's just asking your child to wake up while you have wet chemcials on your finger tips.

8. Don't buy baby clothes too far in advance. If someone told me my 6 month old would be wearing 12 month clothes I wouldn't have believed them. 

9. Related to 8, novelty clothing is a little overrated. Those first 3 months they really live in pajamas. And that's cool.

10. And since the last few have sounded like advice, you will get lots of advice. Take it with a smile. Then go home and raise your baby however you please.

11. Cutting a baby's nails is a bitch. It sucks. Do it when you're on top of your game. Yeah, I mean well rested, in a well lit area, with extreme focus.

12. Related to 11, the first time you cut your kid while clipping their nails, you feel like a terrible mother. Mom guilt is apparently very real, and it blows.

13. If cloth diapering, check the water pressure out before you use your diaper sprayer on full blast. It takes getting watered down poop all over yourself just one time to learn that one, and just let me trailblaze that one for you.

14. Babies are unpredictable creatures. DVR that show you really don't want to miss because bedtime can shift. And be flexible. You may think your baby should take that soild nap you've been looking forward to but naps are never guarnateed.

15. That toy your friend swears by might not work for your baby. Yeah, if your baby isn't a pacifiier baby, good luck trying to get them to take one. It might just not be in the stars.

16. Milestones on a timeline are just a rough esitmate. Babies can do things early or do things late, as long they they eventually do them, you're good. Don't worry until your doctor tells you it's time to worry. And even then, remember to keep it in perspective. 

17. Babies come in all shapes and sizes. Embrace that. I love my tank baby.

18. Spit up happens. Don't wear something you absolutely can't have stained. Brian changes out of his work clothes right after he walks in the door, and it has saved many a work outfit.

19. Phases are phases. They pass. It sucks and they seem horrible while they are going on, but they pass. And that advice won't make you feel better while they are going on. 

20. Diaper rash is awful. Giving your baby naked time is super smart.

21. At least one older person will give you the "in my day" line, and it will be obnoxious. But remind yourself they are trying to relate. You will probably do the same shit when 20 years from now "back is best" will be something else entirely. 

22. Keep wine or chocolate in your house. There will be days you need it.

23. Ask for a break when you need it.

24. Whenever someone offers help, take them up on it. This is not the time in your life to be super prideful. 

25. Walks and errands are good boredom busters.

26. Never wake a sleeping baby.

27. Motherhood is a rollercoaster. They will be wonderful days and there will be shitty days. On the wonderful ones, soak in every ounce. And on the shitty ones, remember this too shall pass, and remember how incredibly lucky you are to get to be a mother, even it's it's hard to remember in that instant.

There you have it. An odd number but 27 tidbits of wisedom. Yeah, I called it wisedom even though I've only been doing this gig for 6 months. I can't wait to see what they next 6 months teach me. I'm sure it'll be things I never expected. And Hartley and I will have a ball figuring them out.  

*** Oh, and as a bonus. Here is actually a tidbit of advice. Talk to another mom friend when you've hit a low point. If they're a good friend, they'll share their low point. And it makes you feel good to know you're not alone in this adventure of motherhood. ***

29.

So today I turned 29. All of a sudden I think my age sounds old. 29 no longer sounds like "that era in your 20s right after you graduate when you're figuring things out". It sounds like "you're almost 30, time to be a grown up". 

And actually, 28 was a lot of growing up. I think becoming a parent makes you grow up. That's not to say people without kids aren't grown ups, it's more that Hartley made me grow up a little more. 

And here I am at 29 and my life feels full to the brim. It truly is perfect. Well, my version of perfect anyway. 

I had a couple moments where I teared up today. Sappy and cliche, I know. 

But I had an epiphany. This is what life is about. This year I welcomed my daughter and learned what it means to be a mom. I have been so blessed and lucky to have made some fun new friends and remain blessed to have the old ones. Our families are happy, healthy and expanding due to 3 weddings within the next year or so. Brian and I continue to have so much fun together. He just keeps doing wonderfully at work. Life is good. We are so lucky. 

I'm getting older, and I joke about feeling the need to lie about my age. But there is no place I'd rather be in life. Well, maybe if you let me be 21 for one night I wouldn't complain. But in all seriousness, I think when people use that expression "these are the days", they are talking about where I am right now. These really are the days.

And on special days like today, I wonder what I did so right to be here. 

I am so thankful for all the people who made a point of saying happy birthday to me. It moves me to tears to know I have that many people in my life who think about me. I hope they all know that they mean a lot to me too.

Sorry, this entry was insanely mushy. Maybe 29 year olds are just mushy.

To be less mushy I'll say a few shallow things. I love all my awesome birthday gifts. I love that I ate like calories don't count today. And I love that I was that woman this year - I bought myself a couple presents, and I don't feel bad about it! 

Cheers to being another year older, and hopefully, wiser!

Thanks for reading :)

Five months.

Dear Hartley,

It's so strange - 5 months somehow feels like forever and the blink of an eye. 

How are you such a big girl already? 5 months ago you were a peanut who was swimming in a newborn size snow suit, and now you are in 12 month clothes! When we're out places people usually guess that you are older than you are. Your size and chatty nature usually fool people. 

You somehow get prettier with each passing day. Many people have told your mama she should put you to work - that you are gorgeous enough to be a baby model, even the Gerber baby. You eyes remain a steely blue. And everyone is always trying to figure out who you look like and what color to call your hair. I think it's a dirty blonde but if it catches light a certain way it looks reddish. 

This month you seem to have grown and developed even more than previous months. You sport two teeth. You can roll both ways - tummy to back and back to tummy. You laugh. You love to smile. You talk a ton. You can sit up on your own if you use your arms in front of you to prop yourself up. 

You are now very interested in written words. You have a wall hanging with words in your nursery that mesmerizes you, and you love books. 

You love being sung to and rocked. You love being held above our heads and looking down at us. 

You also have been on a blowing raspberries kick. You are very interested in your feet.

This month you're into Freddie the firefly, a Lamaze toy. You also are now into soft rattles and stuffed animals. I've caught you talking to your stuffed animals. It is, without a doubt, the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life. 

You continue to love walks. You have just started regularly having play dates with Lily, the baby in the neighborhood who was born the same day as you. You love going to the mall, and I love taking you there. 

Dad is smitten with you. It is so sweet to watch you two together. 

Nana and grandpa still baby sit a lot. You went through a couple weeks where you forgot who they were a little but that's over. When nana came over the past couple days, you lit up. 

Unfortunately, you seem to have your first cold right now. But your mood is as chipper as ever. 

Napping isn't what it used to be but you remain a nighttime sleep champion. Last night you went a little past 12 hours. 

I'm still so in love with you, and I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that you'll always be my little sweetheart. This month I feel particularly mushy, and I think it's just because each day our bond grows stronger than the last. My little miracle, I love you so. Happy 5 months, lovey! 

Four months (1 month late)

This was written on June 9, 2014 (you were 4 months 1 day). I had to catch up before posting 5 months! 

Dear Hartley,

Happy four month birthday! You are growing like a weed. You are 16.6 pounds, 25.5 inches - 90th percentile in both categories.

You are changing and developing so quickly. You just rolled over for the first time a few days ago. You rolled from your tummy to your back. And you did it when both mom and dad were around to see! We are so proud of you.

You also just had the top of your first tooth pop through your gum. It was pretty painful for you, so that wasn't fun, but it's exciting to watch you grow! 

This month you're very aware of who you know and who you don't know as well. You mainly hang out with mom, dad, nana and grandpa so you recognize all of our faces. 

You're smiling all the time and even starting to laugh.

And oh my goodness you are talking up a storm! You are always babbling. You are an extremely communicative baby. You also love to stick your tongue out. You love to blow bubbles and you drool a ton. 

You love baths and strolls. Mom and dad take you on tons of trail walks around the lake. You are always getting to see new animals on our adventures. You also go for lots of walks with a baby born on the exact same day as you! Her mom and your mom love to compare notes on what you girls are up to! 

Nana and grandpa are always over helping out: baby sitting you and taking you for long walks. The stroller logs at least a dozen miles every week! 

You are getting good at tummy time. You can push up, and you are desperately trying to crawl. You are a little mobile now but mainly you scoot around on your back. 

Everything you can get your hands on ends up in your mouth. Fingers. Mom's hair. Sophie the giraffe.

You continue to be a very alert and aware baby. You take everything in. You really notice Winnie. You pulled out some of her hair the other day but she didn't seem to mind because she loves you so much. 

The kick n play piano continues to be a favorite in this house. You are getting a little big for your baby swing so we don't use it as much. Dad bought you this crazy colorful, silly bouncer, and you're starting to get into it. You've got a ton of fun toys! 

Your dad and I talk every night before we go to bed about how adorable you are, how lucky we are and how much we love you. 

This is our favorite age so far. We love the little person you are becoming.

We love you, Hartley Glenn! 

Yessss victory!

So it took me 8 weeks but I'm officially down ten pounds! Yes! Double digit weight loss!

I am so proud of myself. 

I stalled out the past couple weeks. Life was happening, and the diet wasn't a priority. I'm 100% not ashamed of that. I'm truly in this for the long haul. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

I have 20 pounds more to lose to get to my goal weight. 

Here are my goals:

Lose the next ten pounds by our 5th wedding anniversary: September 5, 2014.

Lose those last ten pounds by December 31, 2014. 

I'm so impressed with myself. I'm 33% of the way to my goal. 

And last weekend I actually had a chance to get ready for the day when I went to my sister in law's bridal shower. I looked in the mirror and thought, "wow, I look beautiful." You're cringing, thinking I'm super vain. But I've worked hard, and I love myself for it. I don't always get a chance to get ready for the day but when I do, I really do look good. 

My downfall is still emotional eating so I'm working on that. But it has definitely improved. Before Hartley, I'd eat mindlessly, and the best part about dieting with a baby is that you actually can't eat mindlessly. There's never the time or the free hands! My main pitfall now is "tired eating". Yep, actually eating to try to gain more energy because I'm wiped. I'm not trying to eliminate this habit completely. It's kind of a natural thing. But I'm trying to get as much sleep as I can at night and drink water so I at least do what I can to curb the habit. 

My strength is preparation. Man does preparation make a difference when you have a little one! Thinking ahead helps me greatly. So does my slow cooker. 

I had to get on my blog to write this because I'm so proud of myself. And maybe you're thinking, "hah, 10 pounds? I could lose that in a few weeks!" I could too but I couldn't maintain it. Maintenance is the biggest part of this. I'm not trying to be a size 2. I'm not trying to be all muscle, no fat. I'm trying to be a healthier mom and wife, for life. I'm not rushing it, and I'm not killing myself to get there. I also know another baby is a possibility so I'm not trying to do anything unhealthy to my body.

I'm giving myself plenty of time to lose the next ten pounds. But I can't lie, I can't wait to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary 20 pounds lighter than I was when we started! Wish me luck as I chug along! 

Father's Day

On my blog I've talked a little about my mom. She and I have always had a (sometimes probably irritatingly) close relationship. I've talked about being a mom. 

But I haven't talked much about my dad or the kind of dad Brian is. And what better time than Father's Day.

I have to say, I came into this world and won the lottery. I just so happened to be born to two loving, supportive, involved parents. And somehow I got one of those dads who can do anything. 

My dad had freshly turned 25 when my brother and I were born. Yep, at 25 my dad was supporting a wife and two children. His degree is in accounting but he got a job as an air traffic controller when they went on strike during the Reagan administration. And it's a job that served him very well and allowed my mom to stay at home and raise us. 

At 25, most people are figuring our what the hell they are doing with their life but my dad was busy taking care of a family. When I look at pictures of my brother and I in our double stroller, my dad looks like a kid - rocking the awesome 80's short shorts and an Afro. 

He has been the ultimate dad from the very beginning. He provided for us all while saving for the future so he could pay for cars, college educations and weddings. 

But outside of work, he made an effort to be there for everything. I have hundreds of childhood memories with my dad. From him taking me fishing with my Mickey Mouse fishing pole to taking me to daddy daughter dances, letting me dance with my feet on top of his. He'd take us boating - and pressure me to be more adventurous by trying the ski bob. I'd cry because I was afraid, and he'd always say, "I'm your dad. I'd never let you do anything dangerous." And I always knew he meant it. 

He coached my soccer team. The guy actually checked out a book from the library on how to coach soccer and built a goal out of PVC piping for our back yard. He built treehouses with trap doors and furniture for my dolls. He taught my Girl Scout troop how to use power tools. 

Everyone thought my dad was a fucking bad ass at career day. He'd have us close our eyes and run around the room bumping into each other - and tell us that's what the sky would be like without air traffic controllers.

He took my siblings and I to minor league baseball games. He did the dad thing where he'd always try to make good time on road trips. And when I got a shitty report card I'd tell him first so he could soften the blow of telling my mom. 

He made the most amazing Halloween costumes you've ever seen. I'm pretty sure the wedge of cheese costume he made me was the best. And when the Packers made the Super Bowl the following year he tied that baby to the roof of my mom's station wagon, and it was the talk of the town. 

I'm not saying my dad is perfect. We had some rough times during my teenage years. Though he still managed to teach me to drive a car... despite the time I drove us off the road at a local country club. 

He'd proofread my resumes. He'd do mock job interviews with me.

And when he gave me away at my wedding, I think he was happy to do so only because I was marrying Brian. Brian told my dad he promised to take good care of me. And my dad said he knew Brian would. 

But sometimes when leaks happen or our cars make funny noises, he still comes to the rescue and takes care of both of us. 

There's supposedly a time in every child's life where they come to the realization that their parents can't do everything. And truthfully, I haven't hit that yet with my dad. He managed to work what is considered the most stressful job in America and always be present for his kids. There's never a problem he can't solve. He's never fallen short with good advice. Whenever something breaks or I'm just not quite sure how something works, I know I can always turn to my dad. 

Hartley carries his name with her always, and hopefully it will help her to be the kind of person he is. A hard worker. A problem solver. A great friend. The person who would give you the shirt off his back. 

And want to hear how I got even luckier in this life? I married someone who is a natural born dad like my dad. 

Ever since I've known Brian he always instinctively taken care of me. Now I watch him do the exact same thing with Hartley. 

He always says, "I love my gals."

And I know he does because he shows us every single day. Changing and feeding Hartley. Taking her for strolls and giving her raspberries. Reading to her and snuggling her. He takes Winnie out every morning before work and every night before bed. He helps me around the house. He tells me every day that I'm beautiful and that he loves me. And he never forgets to say "thank you."

I know I'm beyond blessed. I appreciate that we have a day to celebrate these men so we're reminded just how lucky we are. And I'm glad to know so many men who take pride in their roles as fathers. 

Brian told me recently his number one goal in life to to be the best husband and dad he can be. Well, he's off to one hell of a start! I couldn't be any prouder. 

Happy dad's day!