I woke up at 6 am this morning to Winnie wondering up to my pillow and snuggling my head. Normally at 6 am, I'd push her away and tell her (not so nicely) to let me sleep. But this morning I let her nuzzle me like she was a big fur scarf. I picked up my phone and called Brian, knowing he was in the man cave already doing work or exercising. He came upstairs, and we enjoyed a very early Monday morning together. The three of us. It was just a little time of watching the news and chit chatting but it still made me realize life will never be like this again.
It's been almost 4 and a half years of marriage. The house has changed, the waistlines have expanded a bit, and we are wiser than when we started. But we've never seen a change like this - becoming parents.
And now it's so close, that a countdown seems obsolete. It's Monday. Hospital check in is Thursday. You don't need to know the number of days to feel that closeness now.
Normally I'm starving upon waking up these days but I can't even shove in any breakfast right now. I'm pretty nervous.
And when I write these particular words, I can't help but cry - I can't believe we are finally meeting our daughter so soon. There have been quite a few days where I thought I'd never get to say those words, and by the miracles of God, science and perseverance, I get to. I can't imagine anything in life topping that high. I will work for the rest of my life to be the person who deserves it.
We are lucky to be surrounded by so many people who have cheered us on and have been excited and happy for us. We been given many sweet gifts and hand me downs. I get texts of sheer excitement all the time now. Hey, even people "liking" some bump or sonogram pictures on Facebook boosts us up. My mom has already become an amazing grandma - buying diapers, taking Winnie while we're in the hospital, cooking for us, taking days off work to help out. They could put up a barbed wire fence and police dogs around my hospital room, and that wouldn't keep her away :) And Brian and I both wholly appreciate all of it. As if the gift of Hartley wasn't enough - our friends and family had to push the joy level just over the top.
For the next few days, I'll snuggle Winnie. I'll take baths. I'll pretend I have all this preparation left or baby books to read, and have random moments of panic. And I'll know that the best is yet to come.
I can't wait to meet you, Hartley. You will always be my little girl. I love you so much already, and I know it's a love that will just grow bigger than I can ever imagine. You are getting some very cool parents. Even though I know a decade from now we'll be completely embarrassing and lame. And people won't use the word lame anymore. Just remember, you are the highlight of our week this week, and every week for the rest of our lives. Your dad is committed to strolling you along on his jogs, teaching you about dorky superhero movies, and having tea parties. I'll teach you all about finger painting and crafting, be your personal stylist and a fountain of knowledge on girl stuff like boys (after all, I got your dad). And Winnie, well, you couldn't get a better dog sister than that one :) Can Hartley wait to meet you. Lots of snuggles, very soon to come.
